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Families & Donor-Conceived Adults
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Family Contact List
If you conceive a child using TSBC donor sperm or you are a donor-conceived adult (at least 18 years old), and you're interested in contacting other families who have used the same donor, you have the option of registering with our Family Contact List. To join the list we require that a request be made in writing by letter, email, or filling out the Family Contact List Form on our website. Simply send a written request (attention: Executive Director) that includes your child's full name (or yours, if you are a donor-conceived adult), date of birth, and donor number. We'll add your name to our family registry, and when there is a match--that is, when another family who used the same donor asks to be put on the list-- we'll put you in contact with each other. Please note that parents and donor-conceived adults must initiate this process themselves, as TSBC does not solicit families to register with the Family Contact List.
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We make every effort to provide inventory to families who wish to have more than one child using the same donor. Sibling inventory is set aside from general inventory and is only available to those women and their partners who have already had a child using the donor. Please let us know your plans as soon as you are pregnant, so we can anticipate sibling inventory needs, and advise you on purchasing vials and storing them with us (storage fees are automatically charged at the time the vials are purchased). The only way to guarantee having vials for future use is to purchase them as soon as possible. While there is sibling inventory for most donors, we are unable to guarantee the availability of sibling inventory. If you are interested in sibling inventory, please inquire with a phone counselor. Please view the Current Sibling Catalog for donor availability.
Second Parent Adoption Letter
Many queer and lesbian couples who have had children with the assistance of TSBC decide to pursue legal adoption status for the other (non-gestational) mother. As part of this process, you may need to receive a letter from TSBC verifying the purchase of sperm for donor insemination. Courts require this documentation in order to establish that no father will come forward claiming custody. To receive one of these letters, please send us a written request (email@example.com) that includes your full name, the full name of your child, the child's date of birth, and child's donor number. Also, please mention if the letter is to be sent to your attorney as well as yourself. For more information about second parent adoption and other legal strategies for same-sex parents, you may want to contact the National Center for Lesbian Rights at 800-528-NCLR.
We have web and print resources to help you with issues such as deciding whether and/or how to discuss donor conception with your child, how to discuss the Identity-Release® Program, and more specific issues such as those unique to LGBTQI parenting, parenting as single mom or parenting as a DI Dad.
- If your donor participated in our Identity-Release® Program and you wish to request your donor’s identity or have questions about the process please contact us.
- If your donor participated in our anonymous program and you have questions or wish to see if he is willing to release additional information, please call 510.841.1858 and ask to speak with our Executive Director.
- If you wish to find others who share your donor, read more information about our Family Contact List.
- Research is accumulating on the experiences of donor-conceived people as they grow up and become eligible to receive identifying information about their donor. There’s also research about their parents and donors. You may have even participated in some of these studies. Read more about our research.
- If you have general questions, you can contact us or call 510.841.1858 and ask to speak with our Executive Director.
- Resources for donor-conceived individuals are also growing. We have listed some of our favorite resources below and you may also wish to see our Recommended Reading.
Some Favorite Resources
- Donor Insemination Guide COLAGE. The DI Guide is written by and for donor-conceived individuals raised by one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ) parents. Have a heterosexual parent? This comprehensive one-of-a-kind resource comes highly recommended for all donor-conceived youth and adults regardless of family type.
- Donor Conception Network. Support for anyone involved with donor insemination, including donors and their families, recipient parents and donor-conceived children and adults. Publishes online articles and books, provides information, newsletters, an online library, telephone contacts, and advocacy.
- Podcast Dibs: Welcome to the Family. Hear what it's like to come from a family created with the assistance of a sperm donor. Interviewer Aiden Wood talks with people who have a donor (some who share her donor!) and others from the world of donor-assisted family building.